We are all familiar with the term “peer pressure” and we all know what external pressure feels like. Pressure from family, friends, society, and social media. But today, let’s talk about the pressure we put on ourselves. We can all agree that there is some external pressure, but the truth is that the higher percentage of the pressure we feel comes from within. We say things like “I want to have achieved this by this time, saved x amount of money by this time, bought a car by this age, gotten married by that age, had all my children by that age and moved into my retirement home by that age.” Whose standard and timeline are we really living our lives by? God or the world’s? While there is external pressure to achieve these things, can we be honest and admit that we put the most pressure on ourselves.
Yes, social media does a good job fueling the pressure, but remember that people only show you what they want you to see, tell you things they want you to hear and post things that make you perceive them in a positive way. Everyone has their issues, no matter how big or small, everyone is dealing with something. Nobody, no single person on this earth has it all together, we’re all just figuring things out one day at a time. Don’t let social media deceive you, the person you are comparing yourself to might just be wishing for the life you have.
I’m here to tell you to relax and go easy on yourself. Life is not a marathon, everyone has their separate purpose lanes and God says “go” for different things in our different lives and at different times. As far as we know, there is no award for the person that got to their place in destiny first. Some things happen for others earlier and easier, for some others, it takes a little longer and that’s okay, it’s all part of God’s perfect plan. When next there is pressure to compare yourself to someone else, remember that we do not all have the same destiny or destination, we are running individual races and our expected time of arrival is different.
Putting pressure on yourself or allowing yourself to be pressured by others does two silent things, it leads to resentment which eventually turns to bitterness and it results in ingratitude.
Resentment: The good things happening for others should not lead you into one of those “God when”, “when will my own happen” or “why is my own like this” moments. When someone shares their testimony or announces something good, be happy for them, thank God that your own is coming and move on. The longer you ponder on it, the higher the chances of going over all the things that are yet to come to fruition in your life. This is not a good place to be, the longer you stay here, the faster you deviate from being genuinely happy for people, to a place where you start resenting them and this eventually leads to bitterness.
Ingratitude: Putting so much pressure on yourself hinders you from seeing opportunities to be grateful and thank God for the little things we often take for granted. We focus so much on the outstanding things that we ignore our little wins, miracles and breakthroughs, and forget to thank God for them. For example, you set out to lose 10kg in 3 months and you only lost 7 at the end of 3 months, it is typical to focus only on the 3kg you did not lose and ignore the 7kg you worked so hard to lose. Another example, you planned to have bought/built your own house by 40 and now you are 45 and you still live in a rented apartment, you focus only on the fact that you don’t have a house of your own and ignore the fact that you have a thriving career and an amazing family. Even if all you have is breath in your nostrils, it is more than enough to be thankful for because “where there is life there is hope”. “But for him who is joined to all the living there is hope, for a living dog is better than a dead lion” (Ecclesiastes 9:4, NKJV). While you may be weighed down by the things you are yet to achieve, please take a moment today to think of the things that are going well for you and thank God for them.
Finally, this post is not in any way encouraging slothfulness or mediocrity. If you are honest with yourself, you know when you are working hard and doing everything with a spirit of excellence and you also know when you are just doing things because you have to. If you fall in category A and things are still not adding up, know that God sees you, He sees your diligence and His grace is on all you do and very soon, you will see that God makes all things beautiful in His time. However, if you fall in the category B, I implore you to approach life and all you do with diligence and a spirit of excellence and watch the grace and favour of God, turn things around for your good.
God has a set time for everything in your life, and his timing is perfect. He is never too late or too early, he is always right on time. “He has made everything beautiful in its time…” (Ecclesiastes 3:11, NJKV). Putting pressure on yourself will not make things happen for you any sooner than God has planned. Life is already hard enough, don’t make it harder by comparing yourself to others and putting unnecessary pressure on yourself. You’ve got this because God’s got you.
Instead of comparing and complaining, say to yourself “I am doing well, God makes all things beautiful in his time and in God’s perfect time and according to his perfect plan, all the good things I’m praying for will come to me.”
I cannot end this post without saying thank you all so much for reading, sharing and commenting on the last post. Your feedback was encouraging and I do not take it for granted.
Have a beautiful week ahead and I’m rooting for you!
